Why Happiness Is A Choice? – Is it really?

Why happiness is a choice?


Do you agree that happiness is a choice?

I do.

How can I say this?

I, for one, am a genuinely happy person, you crack me a joke, and I’ll come laughing. You make me watch a sad movie and you’ll see me crying. Life never stops on challenging my journey, but I always find a way to make life easier and the universe I believe, is clearing the way to make it easier, sending instruments to help me get through. Much of the external forces, it’s within me to always believe that somewhere over the rainbow, I can reach my dreams. Why happiness is a choice?

One day, I met a genuinely lonely guy. As generous as I was to share and let him know how to change what he looks at to change how he feels, at the end of the day, he purposely goes back to looking at his difficulties, like he’s the only one who’s got them.

Our perceptions were different, and thus, those perceptions, the things that we choose to look at, have mirrored the differences in our belief and expectations about happiness.

But first and foremost, how does one know whether he or she is a happy person?

What is Happiness?

Happiness is a positive emotion, it’s a mixed feeling of joy, excitement, and contentment. Wikipedia describes happiness as a positive or pleasant emotion ranging from contentment to intense joy.

What makes one person happy may not work for others. However, the process is the same. It requires one’s decision to choose happiness, and commitment to stick to that choice.

Back to my guy, he focuses his attention to his worries than anything else, complains about how people around him are doing things wrong, expecting things to screw up because he believes he’s one unlucky guy, and wishing for someone to make him happy. But how do you make a lonely person happy?  We cannot. As much as happiness is a choice, making others what to choose depends on how he wants to live his life. It’s always his choice and decision.

It stems from the root cause of events and circumstances and how we choose to deal with all these circumstances, thus although consist of series of choices, boils to one, choosing to feel good about the good side of it no matter how negative it can be. Seeing the positive in every negative, biting into the bright side, and knowing and accepting that it’s a choice on how we deal with every circumstance in life.

What affects our happiness?

  • Challenges. Challenges stem from health to financial issues that affect our day-to-day lives.

Why happiness is a choice? We can look at challenges as the obstacle teaching us to be persistent in moving forward with life and pursuing what we want in order to become worthy of the achievement of our set goals and dreams.

  • Not having enough money. Stems from wanting more beyond our means and getting frustrated when it’s not achieved right away. Also involves not meeting responsibilities and obligations when they fall due.

Why happiness is a choice? We can’t do anything about everything that’s not in our control. We can opt to focus on solving problems one at a time rather than focusing on the problems brought about by not having enough money.

  • Sickness/Disabilities. This is well understood by those who are actually suffering from illnesses/disabilities.

Why happiness is a choice? As far as I would be very insensitive, to say the least to look into the bright side, since it involves great sacrifice from both the patient and family, there are people who suffered from illnesses/disabilities but chose to live happily and inspire others, i.e. Hellen Keller; Stevie Wonder; Stephen Hawking; Nick Vujicic; among others;

  • Heartbreaks. This is a very excruciating process, but time lets us get used to all the pain.

Why happiness is a choice? Sure the thought of not having that someone become part of your future is very heartbreaking but being with anyone who doesn’t want to be there is more mind-boggling, stressful, and heartbreaking. What do we prefer?

Why happiness is a choice? When it comes to any kind of relationship, communication is key. If no one is voicing out the problem about conflicts, if there is any, in your social group, you can be the one to speak up. Otherwise, be brave enough to pack your things and live in a positive and healthy environment.

  • Unwanted job. In general, doing what we don’t want to do make us unhappy, much more having a job that we don’t actually dream of having that consume most of our waking hours.

Why happiness is a choice? It sure will take time, but instead of complaining about the unwanted job, use your free time to save money, or study and learn other courses that will direct you to the job or income-generating activity that will move you out of where you are currently. Focus on the achievement of this and you will feel excited every single day while doing the job you hate.

  • Frustrations over failed goals and dreams. There we are setting goals and dreams, and used much time but failing to achieve some of them which can get you really frustrated.

Why happiness is a choice? Although the ultimate fulfillment is in the achievement of goals and dreams, if you choose to look at where you were before and now because of the pursuit of your dreams, the lessons you’ve learned and the people you meet, you’ll realize, time spent in pursuit of goals and dreams are time well spent.

So How Do We Choose To Live Happily?

  1. Decide. Make happiness on top of your goals. It’s first and foremost a decision you have to make every single day.
  2. Be grateful. Every little thing is a blessing. Our frustrations from not getting what we want are due to lack of gratitude towards what we already have.
  3. Enjoy every little moment. Be in the present and feel what these little moments bring about to your well-being. Why happiness is a choice?
  4. Get involve in physical activities. Physical activities can make you feel and look good, positive emotions that boost happiness.
  5. Be mindful. This is very important. Otherwise, it’s very easy to get carried away by emotions and all the noises around us as well as inside our minds.
  6. Choose your battle. We don’t need to react to every little thing that’s happening around us. So long as we know what we want to achieve in life, it would be clear to us what circumstances require our attention.
  7. Look up the sky and take a deep breath. Every morning, there’s a feeling of hope and happiness I personally experience whenever I do this.
  8. Be compassionate. There is nothing more rewarding than showing sympathy to others. Each of us has our own worries and easing other people’s burden is simply one way of giving that makes us feel worthwhile.
  9. Focus on the solution. Whenever challenges come, do not stumble upon the emotion attached to these challenges. Always be mindful to focus on the solution.
  10. Have a specific goal. The pursuit of goals and dreams make a person more disciplined, mindful and focused. Have this specific goal posted anywhere you can see it and whenever something’s bothering you, go back to that goal and instruct yourself to do something to realize it. Then you’ll notice that those things making you feel blue have nothing to do with what you actually have to be doing relative to your goals.
  11. Write. Make a habit to write what you think or feel. This way, you can have a better understanding of yourself and what causes you to feel these things.

Would you rather be happy or what?

Being unhappy does not make anyone feel good. Decide. Is it worth it to be living this short life unhappy? Why happiness is a choice?

You see, it’s all about changing our perceptions toward things. “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change”, and everything else in our lives will change. It starts with the decision to change our way of thinking and interpreting things and events happening around us.

Life is what we make it. It’s a decision. Like any other choices in life, it’s a decision.

Make that decision NOW! Choose happiness above anything else. Write it somewhere you can see every morning you wake up, “I choose and decide to be happy today, no matter what!”, and choose to make it your reality.

I’d be happy to know your thoughts in the comment section below.


All the best,
King Kong’s Girl

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38 comments / Add your comment below

  1. You really made me think about what happiness is.
    I have learned that I sometimes need to put things into perspective. Then you realise there is no point worrying about things that are really quite insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

    You are right, happiness is a choice.

    1. Hi Nick, I’m glad the article has helped you in any way. My life isn’t perfect just like everybody else, actually, I’m dancing with challenges every now and then. However, I choose to look at things that not only make me feel good but more importantly, let me keep moving forward in order to achieve what I really wanted in life. It’s our choices that put us where we are right now. Thank you for your thoughts.

  2. Thank you for taking the time to write this article about choosing happiness. I choose joy every day! I love to be joyful, and I’m not going to let anyone steal that from me. the world is constantly wanting to steal our joy. We just need to be intentional in our resolve to keep it!

  3. Hi! I love the info you’re providing on this simple, yet very powerful topic! Not many people are happy + fulfilled with their lives and its quite sad. Too many obstacles get in the way and most can’t get past the old memories, which makes people enslaved to the shadows of their past. Letting go and going forward w/ happiness is a choice, but its an important one if we want to enjoy our lives. But we gotta make that decision, otherwise we’ll be internally lost forever. Great post!

    1. Thanks, Kseniya. Most of the time we over complicate things when in reality life is pretty much simple. We only have to make that choice of deciding what will make our life easier and more enjoyable to bear. Lots of people will say this is easier said than done, however, why not even just once, try not to over think, try not to complicate things, instead, even just once, choose to look at the bright side of things for a change and decide to be happy.

  4. Beautifully written and expressed – you make some amazing points – YES happiness is a choice and sometimes I feel as if people rather stay in their roles of being victim, martyr instead of choosing happiness. Don’t understand but that’s the games people play.

    ” … happiness is not for the lousy souls. It is for the courageous, the care takers, the ignorant, the selfless, the focused, the decisive and the vigorous.”

    For me, I choose to be happy. Even though I am broke, living with my parents and am a single mother of a one year old baby boy. I choose to work on a online business, towards having a life of financial freedom and envisioning that makes me happy!

    Thank you for this!


    1. You’re welcome. My only niece is named Sofia, pronounced like yours, 🙂 such a lovely name and baby girl. The only thing constant is change, everything else is temporary. What you’re going through right now will pass so long as you’re doing something about it and you focus on being happy and grateful, like what you’re already doing. 🙂 Keep it up! I created this website in order to spread positivity and happiness, to help others, even those you mentioned, to realize that it all starts within. I’m glad you liked it.

  5. Wow, this is such a lovely article! I can really relate to this, as I was suffering with mental health issues for quite a while, which did make me unhappy. Very soon, I too came to the realisation that happiness is a choice and it’s something that you decide every day. What keeps me going is being grateful for what I do have, focusing on the positive things in my life, rather than the negative. This is a very powerful and inspiring message you’re spreading, thank you!

    1. Hi Joann. Very good for you. Sometimes, we suffer from health issues, illnesses, challenges, and all these circumstances because we initially asked for happiness. And since we haven’t realized yet that happiness is in our control, we have to experience negativities that will make us feel unhappy. And then eventually get tired of not feeling good, get tired of controlling what we couldn’t, and just choosing to be happy. I’m glad you liked it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  6. I totally agree happiness is a choice. We can choose to focus our attention on what works in our lives or we can choose to focus on what doesn’t work, we can choose to focus on problems or we can choose to focus on solutions and that will ultimately determine how we will feel. People are often complaining about people, circumstances, and life in general, without realizing that we see the world not as it is but rather how we are. When we are happy, the world looks like a good place. Thank you for the great article, I enjoyed reading it!

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it Blanka. You are absolutely right. It all starts with what we’re choosing to focus on. What we focus on will create the emotion, and these emotions will drive a person to act. As the cliche goes, change your mind, change your life. Thank you for your thoughts.

  7. HI, I really love this article, happiness is a choice as we all have problems in our lives so if we dont choose to be happy than nothing can make us happy. I agree with each and every point you have mentioned…Thank you for sharing such a nice article.

  8. Hello, thanks for this article, it really got me thinking. I particularly like your last 11 points about how to be happy – they resonated with me. There are a few that are at the forefront of my mind through practice over the years. These are choosing our battles, and writing. Writing has always been so therapeutic for me, I love it. And when you have kids, choosing your battles is important to remember or you’ll go nuts!

    The one I try to focus on it to enjoy every little moment. When I consciously do this, my mood really does change. I take the time to notice the genuinely wonderful things that are happening in my world.

    Thanks for your article, it has brightened my day.

    1. Hi Melissa, I’m glad I can be able to brighten up your day. Yes, it takes constant practice to consciously choose the things needed to be done in order to be happy. But it would be easier if at the back of our mind, choosing to be happy is our main priority. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Enjoy your day!

  9. Very interesting and inspirational. I think also happiness is our own choice. We need to have a positive attitude and get out all negativity.
    Best regards!

    1. That’s true Maja, I’m glad you find it inspirational. It’s a decision we need to take every single day until it becomes natural to us choosing happiness and positivity before anything else. If you enjoyed this one, I’ve got some list of quotes that can also get you inspired.

  10. You’re so right. Happiness is a choice. It’s not dependent on my outward circumstances, but instead it depends upon my reactions to them. I appreciate that you included looking up to the sky and taking a deep breath. It’s all a matter of perspective isn’t?

  11. Hello King Kong’s Girl. I have been reading and studying, for a while now, the law attraction and other books in this area. I have started to watch the foods I eat and the things I allow into my sub conscious. From binaural beats to positive affirmations I helped to brainwash myself back into happiness. We all let todays world drag us in. It ends up consuming us and takes over our emotions, allowing intangible items or insecurities to treat others (or ourselves) how we were taught or society tells us! So yes! happiness is a choice! Changing your diet, meditation, education, being more mindful, present in the moment, grateful, compassionate, empathetic, and always following your dream… can all lead you there! Thank you for this article! I will be sure to send others your way who are seeking some enlightenment. Namaste

    1. Hi Ryan, you’re welcome. That’s great news. I’m an avid follower and student of the law of attraction as well, hence my tagline “It all starts within”. I would be very happy to reach as many people as I can to spread positive vibes and enlightenment, thank you in advance for doing that favor. Cheers to success and happiness!

  12. Awesome article. I believe happiness is a choice as well. We can choose to focus on the negatives, or we can choose to focus on the positives. I think people who are hardly ever truly happy lack resilience. Loved reading this!

  13. I always like to think that life is to short to worry about all the negative things. Whenever I think about this in negative situations, it helps alter my mindset and push past my fears and insecurities that may be holding me back from doing something.

    Thanks for the great post:)

    1. Hi Jeremy, I’m glad you were able to find ways in order to push aside the negative thoughts. It’s definitely our choice to allow which thoughts will enter and stay inside our minds.

  14. Happiness is a reflection of what is going on around you and the people in your life, they can all have an effect.You need to look at the good points in all of them to feel true happiness.

  15. Excellent post. It creates a positive attitude and helps to look at your perception of life from another perspective. We all live very busy lives, our days are scheduled, we don’t have time for each other, and we forget to stop and reflect, to give ourselves a chance to feel happy because so many good things are happening but don’t pay attention to it.
    I enjoyed reading your post. Thank you for sharing.

  16. Hi, there!

    Just like you wrote I really think a good relationship is a key to happiness. I also think that positive and helpful friends are another key. Negative friends can be so destructive that it’s scary…

    That list on “How Do We Choose To Live Happily” is really good. I thinking about put in on my refrigerator 🙂

    Thanks for sharing!

    Regards, Jan

  17. I totally agree that happiness is a choice. You are the only one that creates your own life. It can be a happy life or a misarable life. It’s all how you act and feel. What agreat read… Thank you for sharing…

  18. Happiness is such a choice. The more that you choose positivity and happiness in your life, the more you will notice it. You’ll start to discover that you are happier more and more. The other day, I commented to my boss that I enjoyed something about work. She chuckled and said, “you enjoy everything.” I realized that I had found something to enjoy about even the most mundane tasks as a way to endure the day. The more I did that, the more enjoyment I found.

    1. The strangest secret by Earl Nightingale says, “What you think, you become.” You attract more of things to enjoy about because you chose to look at those things, including happiness. Good for you, Melinda, happy for you. (: Thank you for sharing your experience. Have a great day everyday!

  19. I totally agree that happiness is a choice and I chose to be positive. I stay away from negative people as they drain ones energy. Loved this post and have shared it on all my social media sites. Hope a lot of people learn from it.

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