“A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.” –John Burroughs
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” –Robert Anthony
Blame is an act of holding other people responsible for an action, making the blamer feel superior highlighting flaws and imperfections of the other. While, others also call blamers as “The Victims” in which way of thinking can lead to helplessness and depression, blaming is not always negative.
Blaming others when appropriate can stop any harm in its track and can protect us in some cases because some people need to know if they’ve done something wrong and corrected if necessary. However, blaming others whose at fault can increase a feeling of distrust and disappointment, which is in return, negative in nature.
Whatever justification we can give either when we blame others because it’s their fault or we’re just into the habit of blaming, the fact still remains that blaming diverts our attention from focusing on making things right.
How then do we stop blaming others? Below are some simple tips:
Some Simple Tips!
Tip # 1 – Let it go.
If it’s other’s fault and it’s comprised of small, small things that won’t cause you any harm, let it go.
Tip # 2 – Recognize when you’re blaming.
Notice the use of “you” and “should” in your words when dealing with a situation and you will realize you are getting started to play the blame-game.
Tip # 3 – Take a moment to be conscious.
When you’re dealing with a situation, stop yourself by taking a deep breath or counting backward from ten to 1 to refocus your mind on finding a solution first. You can talk about how and why something went wrong afterward in order to improve the relationship.
Tip # 4 – Put your feet in other’s shoes.
Realize that we are all equals. Take some time with yourself in order to review the situation and become the person you’re blaming. What would you have done if you were in his shoes?
Tip # 5 – Accept.
Accept the fact that since you are part of the situation, you are also part of how it materialized. Admitting you also committed a mistake is a sign of the strength of character. By these mistakes do we learn about ourselves and find ways to improve. The only way not to commit a mistake is to not do anything in life.
Tip # 6 – Focus on the current situation.
Avoid thinking of what could or should have been because this will lead to the question of whose fault it didn’t happen the way it should. Instead, focus on finding the solution.
Tip # 7 – Find and learn the lesson.
Know this, every experience is filled with lessons that will improve us to become a better person. Instead of blaming others, and aside from finding the solution, focus on searching for these lessons.
All of us have worries as I’ve mentioned in my previous article about How To Stop Worrying. Some people, whether intentionally or not do some things that were a result of how frustrated they become. Most of the time, it’s not about us. Blaming them for something and making them feel responsible for your misfortune will add burden to what they’re already going through unless they do it intentionally.
If they do, and we resort to blaming, we’ll find ourselves disappointed or lose trust to the person and/or to others in general.
Hence, instead of blaming, focus yourself on finding solutions to any issue or challenges that may affect a positive, peaceful and healthy life
Admitting that we are in the habit of blaming others is a huge step in developing a positive environment and attitude.
In my next article, I’ll discuss the common reason for blaming and why it won’t get us anywhere in terms of personal development and living a positive life.
I’d be happy to know your thoughts in the comment section below.
All the best,
King Kong’s Girl