Are you afraid of speaking up?
There was a time in my life when I’ve been to a group of people who made me feel like I was creating disagreements just because I was speaking up for what I thought was right, and I almost believed I really was the problem.
People are being used to keeping their silent, complain behind doors, get divided silently, and burst in anger when their limit is reached. I understand people are different.
However, if there’s someone in a group that can speak up to influence others to speak up, misunderstanding and hidden resentment can be avoided.
But this is not always the case. Often times, we’d rather choose to let go and leave in order to protect the relationship and our inner peace and find a place where we can just be ourselves voicing out our opinion, just as I did.
Along the way, I found people who made me realize that speaking up is far from causing disorder unless you made it sound like one, people who will blatantly tell you what you did wrong in order for you to know how to improve the relationships moving forward, and expects you to do the same.
In fact, they’ve made me realized that speaking up is the best way to avoid misunderstandings if communicated properly.
Below are my top 10 tips for speaking up from famous persons that can encourage you more to speak what’s on your mind:
Tips for Speaking Up from Famous Persons
1. “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
–Martin Luther King, Jr., 1st President of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference
2. “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.”
– Oprah Winfrey, Most influential woman in the world
3. “Women speaking up for themselves and for those around them is the strongest force we have to change the world.”
–Melinda Gates, co-founder of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation with the primary goal of reducing extreme poverty and expand educational opportunities and access to information technology
4. “I always believe you have to speak up.”
–Letitia Baldrige, White House Social Secretary appointed by Jacqueline Kennedy
5. “For every time we regret keeping still, there are about ten times we regret speaking up.”
–James Alexander Thom, author and contributor to The Saturday Evening Post
6. “Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind – even if your voice shakes.”
– Maggie Kuhn, Elder Rights activist
7. “Why should we be silent? Why don’t we speak up for our rights? Why don’t we tell the world what is happening?”
–Malala Yousafzai, her advocacy grown into an international movement protecting women’s right to education
8. “If you can speak, you can influence. If you can influence you can change lives.”
–Rob Brown, spokesman of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Light the Night Walk
9. “Your silence will not protect you.”
–Audre Lorde, writer, feminist, and civil rights activist
10. “Let others know when they have hurt or angered you. By not speaking up when someone insults or mistreats you, you are inadvertently giving permission for him or her to continue to treat you in the same way in the future.”
–Beverly Engel, internationally recognized expert in emotional abuse
But don’t just speak up. Do it responsibly, below are some important things to remember.
Things To Remember When Speaking Up
1. Be respectful. We all have different perspectives.
2. Do not raise your voice; let your argument raise your point.
3. Listen, you can be wrong. We heard it before, the biggest communication problem is that we do not listen to understand, we listen to reply.
4. Don’t take things personally. What others say or do is a reflection of their own beliefs and perspectives; it has nothing to do with you.
5. Choose your battle. Speaking up doesn’t mean responding to every dog that barks. Know what matters to you and speak up to protect it.
6. Choose the right platform. Whether formal or informal, it depends on the topic of what needs to be voiced out. The main factor here is that you don’t let your thoughts be drowned in your sea of thoughts, otherwise, let yourself be heard.
Aside from saying what I mean in real time situations, I have also found another way of expressing myself by blogging. Through blogging, I’m able to share my thoughts, information, ideas, and learn through people who share their thoughts as well.
Each of us has a different persona. I told this once to my brother about one of his past relationships: You may both love each other, but you’re not compatible together unless one of you will compromise. Although this fits as a relationship advice, it can also apply when dealing with other people.
Most of the time, the fear of criticism is what hinders us in saying the things we want. So, whether leaving or not is the right thing to do, always remember that you deserve to be heard. Never believe anyone suppressing your opinions because of fear.
The key to having a positive and peaceful life is knowing first who you are, the things you like and dislike, the things you can compromise, and then be with people who force you to become better. We can choose our friends but not family. In both situations, we can choose whom to spend most of our time with.
Exercise your power to speak; you have so much to share.
Speak up, because by speaking up something you thought was right and you end up wrong, you will know and learn. By speaking up something you thought was right and you end up right – others will learn and you may cause a change not only within your circumstance but also on a wider scale.
I’d be happy to know your thoughts in the comment section below.
All the best,
King Kong’s Girl